It sounds like you have a bit of social anxiety going on. I am in the same boat, but 160 days out I am feeling much better about talking to people.
I had a situation similar to yours today. I discovered this week through Facebook that my old college roommate that I haven't seen for 6 or 7 years, lost his mother due to cancer. A couple of months ago I might have just sent him a message with my condolences. For some reason that surprised me, I actually really wanted to go to the funeral. So I did. The Mass was beautiful, and it was great reconnecting with people that had written me off because I stopped responding back in the throes of drinking.
I was surprised at the ease with which I was able to talk to people, even strangers. I guess my confidence is coming back, slowly but surely.
After the luncheon, my old friends were planning on heading to the bar down the street. That's when I made my exit, and started the 90 minute drive home. I'll echo others in this thread and say cut yourself some slack - give it time. And maybe start with non-alcohol fueled events instead of barbecues...