Hey, HP. I can relate to a lot of what you said. Most of all the same two points Robby highlighted.
First the music—I felt EXACTLY the same way! I used to spend hours drinking and listening to albums, and it wasn't just a journey of the ears, but the mind. My emotions would ride along songs like a raft on a river. It felt so deep. And I was convinced I would never feel that again without the booze... But guess what? That's yet another lie our addiction tells us, to make us think we're actually giving up something good—but you're not, the good stuff comes with you! In fact it is even more enjoyable, because now I'm able able to fully enjoy art for its own sake, without it being all tangled up in that obsessive need to fill the emptiness within. I did take a break from certain albums for a couple of months because I so closely associated them with drinking... but now they're back in rotation, more beloved than ever.
The other thing that struck me is what you said about feeling like a failure—yeah, for sure, that's a natural part of feeling trapped in addiction. Only a crazy person wouldn't feel bad. But again, that's caused by drinking, not cured by drinking. That's the greatest lie of all, the way our addiction convinces us that it's sparing us from pain, when really it's the root of it. And it tells us we can't succeed, that we should give up. But the truth is, you can do this. Cast aside those doubts. You know more about yourself and addiction than you ever have before. You've never been in a better position to succeed!