For me, it meant sacrificing myself to help save my EXAG. I would get involved with her battles, and try to pick up her pieces of the destruction left by her drinking and chaos. I was manipulated into feeling responsible for her behavior. Even when I traveled out of town for work, my mind was not there, as it was always wondering what chaos she was causing when I was away. I wanted to be done with it, but thought she needed me to get healthy. She knew I was codependent, and skillfully played every piece of it.
I was a hostage.