In my case i was holding myself hostage.
His unacceptable actions/ behavior in public got to be so bad, I refused to go out in public with him, as I was just embarrassed to be seen with him. Invites to social functions were not filling the mailbox, after all who wants an ass hat to ruin their party?
Next, I stopped having people over, because I did not want them to see him drunk and acting the fool. Or start an argument with one of my guests.
My relationships with my friends also suffered, as i was consumed with his BS, I didn't even know how to be a friend. When I would get together with them I felt like a foreigner in a strange land, they are all happy, and chatting away and I am just thinking exactly how drunk is he going to be when I arrive home, I could not relax, I was always on edge, waiting for the next wave of chaos and turmoil.
So I lived behind closed doors, in shame and disbelief.
I felt so isolated, and each and every day he would act like the previous night's shenanigan's NEVER happened. Well they didn't for him, as he blacked out.
My saving grace in all of this, is we always maintained separate homes, so when I finally had enough, it was easier for me than for some, who have to scramble to find new homes.
It took me a good year to let go of the shame, I really had to take some time and try to understand what I had allowed to happen.
I am sure others have different perspectives to offer.