I apologize upfront if this post seems hard or graphic. I am writing cause I care and love ya’ll.
I have been reading all over this forum and there are definite themes as I look at what people write and do. Generally cycles get repeated, repeated and repeated. With our DA’s we take their crap, lies, manipulations and then say we will go no contact, work on ourselves, blah, blah. Be honest with yourself and ask how much mental space do you allocate to them, are you really no contact?? If you think of them you ARE contact, if you feel for them you ARE contact, if you just text them a teeny weeny little message you ARE contact, if you speak to mutual friends about them YOU ARE contact.
How much more must it take before you realise you are repeating, repeating, repeating? Must you have your innocent children infected and affected by all this so that they can repeat the cycle later in their lives, must innocent people die, must you get AIDS, syphilis or any other disease (cause trust me you are not the only one they are doing and getting their sexual kicks and fixes from), must your life be turned upside down, must your brain become obsessed 24/7. How much more destruction by your DA must you endure and how many more ruined lives, good relationships, innocent and healthy people must suffer (including you)?
Where is your self-respect? When you are with your DA do they promise the world, tell you they will be clean or are clean, create and promise you amazing things and the never follow through? When they have sex with you, how do they treat you? Do they insist on sexual positions that avoid eye contact or are actual degrading, do they treat you like the dog in doggy style? Do they really care or just getting their jollies off! Is any of the relationship real or has it been one big drug induced hallucination and you are just part of their special effects?
COME ON people get with YOUR programme and get YOU healthy. This life journey is tough enough and it starts with you! Let the addiction to your DA go and let them go. Get healthy and you will find peace.
Peace out ya’ll !
