TM75

It's my friends funeral today and it's going to be a very difficult day. I've been awake since 2am but just feel like hiding myself under the duvet although obviously I won't do that because I want to pay my respects. Another 5 hours to go.

I'm struggling with cravings right now. Just want to numb the pain which is insanity because it was alcohol that killed her. Sometimes I feel like I'm totally losing the plot - I can't drink because if I do, I get thrown out because I've had the ultimatum. The problem is that my family are still so disgusted with me after my last bender that they're not even talking to me, leaving me feeling even more alone at this time.

Oh my, any ideas on how to get through this day?