Oh, that sounds like a terrible night. I got decked once.. Def inappropriate nudity happened... I fell down a ravine as a teenager and a tire stopped me from rolling into a river, and then I woke up on said tire, alone. (Everyone thought I wandered off and they left me.) I got taken to psyche TWICE in my 20's for being totally out of control. ETC ETC ETC... (Yes there are unfortunately many MORE humiliating examples to choose from) Anyway, I'm sharing this because I want you to know- I GET IT! I really do. But, you know what? Time will pass- and you will start to feel better about yourself. You will! And if you maintain your sobriety, you never have to fear or suffer that humiliation again. I keep telling myself "I never have to feel like this again!" I wish I hadn't been in denial for so long. I wrote off ALL of those horrible experiences, and just kept right on going and f'ing up. NOT WORTH IT! You deserve a pat on the back for taking this so seriously and addressing it- before it's too late! One thing is for sure, alcoholics that black out, continue to black out. It sucks... Badly. And it's scary... And dangerous as hell. I'm so sorry for what I know you're going through! Hang in there.