As a devout agnostic, I very much struggled with that as well. At my first meeting I read the twelve steps and looked at step 2 and thought to myself "I wanted this so bad, there's no way I can do this." My sobriety month was February so it seemed every meeting was fixated on the whole God thing. I couldn't get sober by myself and saw it worked for others so I kept coming back - just in case it might work for me.
As most of us new in recovery, I was vehemently opposed to religion - therefore any reasonable notion of God. I likely interpreted "God" as the Christian God I learned to hate.
Here are some of the traditions - "long form."
Two—For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
It doesn't say what form God should take and certainly doesn't mention Jesus.
3.—Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other
affiliation.
Celebrate Recovery
likely came about due to religious affiliation (don't know this for sure).
10.—No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial issues—particularly those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion. The Alcoholics Anonymous groups oppose no one. Concerning such matters they can express no views whatever.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
It doesn't say "we believed," it says "
came to believe." And it doesn't say that power is God. It just says a power greater than ourselves. For me, that power was a group of other alcoholics getting together to work out how to live their lives without alcohol.
Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
The twelfth step says -
as a result of these steps - the spiritual awakening is a result, not a condition. I've found, also, that those who are truly honest with themselves have a spiritual awakening that is uniquely personal, hard to describe, and rarely resembles anything they've previously learned or expected.
To be honest, of the many hundreds and hundreds of AA'ers I've met, I know only two that regularly proclaim religion as a key part of their recovery who have more than 6 months of sobriety (one guy is at six months, the other is at 20+ years).
AA is a program to for living.
Christianity is a program to be prepared for after we're dead.
It's a really good program and one we never finish. I have no doubt that as you build time in sobriety you'll find your voice and learning how this very simple program works from what book says, and not the people say you'll discover "AA's Promises" more quickly than many who struggle through it for years.
"Keep coming back"