Got home from work yesterday and he said his counselor set up an appt for both of us to go in?????? Why???? He was told that his problems at this moment are most likely coming from our marital issues. Really????? You have got to be kidding me. I do not think that is a good idea, because my mouth will probably not shut up, since it is all about his feelings now and how he is trying.
These are hooks to keep you engaged in the relationship.
Yes, it's that bad. A good piece of advice that I learned here, when I couldn't see past my AH's hooks, was to "play the tape to the end." Yes, he's saying the right things right now, but what comes after that? And then after that? And then after that? Etc etc.
This is just a part of the pattern. Seeing it for what it is and acting accordingly is half the battle. You're halfway there.