I am reading this rather late, but you and I have alot in common.... I really would like it if you read my story, it's in my blog. You might find that I, at 21, took a very different path, and experienced the darker side of life, but at the same time I can not drink just one. I am not an alcoholic because it is more vital to me then oxygen, I am an alcoholic because I get thirsty when I drink.
And I can really relate with this:
I have too much pride. I don't know how to feel or what to say. I don't want to go to an AA meeting as a 20 year old.
I want to believe I am a intellectually self-sufficient human with more answers and ability then many of the people out there. And I may be right, on part of that. But being in AA doesn't mean I'm weak. It means I have an inability to stop once I start, and so need help not starting again. That's all AA does, in a nutshell. Help me to not start drinking by providing a toolkit, if you will.
Please, read my story. Under my name it says blog entries: 1. Click on the 1, then a page will come up with my story on it. A summary of my life. You don't have to go down the road I went down, because if you truly are alcoholic, you will. At least to some degree. There's people in meetings where I live that used to be professional sports players, some have been cops, lawyers, doctors. AA has given some back their profession, others have not been so fortunate. But some got there in time to keep their lives intact. You can be one of those.
Please, recognize what I did, and do what I'm doing. Before it's too late.