Yes, please listen to Florence's suggestion. There are some VERY skilled therapists out there who specialize in treating survivors of sexual abuse. You were hurt badly enough when you were little--you don't want to live the rest of your life feeling this way. There is happiness in the world--for you, too. You deserve to taste that, to experience it, to feel light and freedom.
If you had grown up with a physical problem--let's say something that caused pain or limited you physically every single day, and there were a treatment for it--something that could make you move freely and without pain, wouldn't you go for it? Same thing with this. You had no more choice about what happened to you than someone who is in a horrible car accident or came down with a serious illness that left lingering effects. I hope you will seek out treatment so you can enjoy life the way everyone deserves.