thank you lexiecat. what you said helps. it's hard to remember everything i need to all the time when it comes to their outlook on things, life, events...because for all the crazy that was there...there were total moments of normalcy, clarity, etc...then i have to remind myself they were only moments and those kinds of moments diminish over time. or the moments were not real. i just put wayyyyy tooooo much consideration and thought in to him and what he said versus what he DID. good lord they can slick talk. like little masters. so smart yet so, so, so not. it's sad. then i move on!
thanks again!