helltoraise,
Well, I would like to tell you that I truly feel this way but I don't always! However, I know that it is reality! I have always felt that the brick wall I hit over and over was really a protection for me when I couldn't/wouldn't protect myself! I know I was in an unhealthy relationship and really it was not acceptable to me nor would it have been to my family/friends!
It's been tough because I knew my XABF for many years (30) before he ever moved here! For some sick reason all these years he had me believing I was the best thing since slice bread & he loved me more than anything. This part has been hard to stomach because it wasn't reality & how could I have been so wrong! I read a lot on here all the time & find strength in knowing I am not alone nor is his behavior different. The rejection isn't so much about me! It helps remind me that I don't want a life like the one I had w/him!!! There were plenty of great times but the struggle is on going! I realized that even if he stops drinking that isn't a fix all! It wasn't until I removed myself that I realized how emotional abusive he really was to me.
It's hard to swallow still but I don't have a choice! There isn't any turning back for this girl! I let him back in it way too many times ! In addition, the devil inside me says to these other women that want him...."He isn't any prize"! They too will find this out! Now I don't know what the future holds for him but all this makes it easier for me to get by! Hang in there!