I think you are awesome Stash for staying with what you are feeling not giving in to your addiction. I so get it as far as having days like this. It isn't always easy to be sober...to stay sober. It is something that we do think about every day. But think about how lucky we are to be thinking in this positive way...we are activly thinking of ways to healthier and better more productive people in our society. Don't hate on yourself...I think you are wonderful!