ADD and Alcoholism
Good morning friends,
I am back on day 1 and trying to figure out why I went back to the alcohol.
I used to be a binge drinker one or two days a week. When I drank, I would be careful about it. I would always order a cab and get home, never trusted myself and would plan a slow day the following day so that I dont have to do too much. I usually did one day during the week and one day during the weekend. This really cost me dearly in terms of health and respect with family members.
I was sober and trying to understand why I go back to drinking. Based on my conversations with friends and people I know, I have realized that I have ADD. I own a business and am content with what I make and dont have the motivation or need to go and strive harder (grew up quite poor).
My daily routine involves an hour of exercise in the morning. After I do this 3 days in a row, I get such a workout HIGH that I cannot control my thoughts. My mind races at a million miles an hour. During these periods, I am highly efficient and am done with my work in less than 4 or 5 hours and then start getting bored and going crazy. I cant go home and just 'hang out'. Yard work does not interest me.
To solve this boredom, I naturally gravitate towards heading to a bar and having a drink. I have many self employed friends and it is easy for me to find someone to have a beer with at 3 pm. My friends go home at 5 and I find more people to go drinking with. By the time I get home, I am hammered and go through 2 or 3 days of remorse, guilt and anger at myself. Then I start exercising and 4 days later, I go through the same thing again.
I am not able to stop this cycle of behavior. I recently saw a psychiatrist but that did not help. In my opinion, my biggest issue is reducing the natural 'high' and having an even-toned lifestyle.
Any suggestions?
Sorry for the long rant but am trying to figure stuff out for myself. Writing this note helps me understand myself better..