Devastated,
It starts out with "baby steps", which
is exactly what you are doing. You
don't have to participate-and you are
realizing this.
You know if I can remember correctly,
I was in contact with my sons on a daily
basis. This has all changed, they have
absolutely nothing to do with me when
they are under the influence-they stay
away and they don't call. They know
I will not tolerate it and it gives me
the "willys". I see my kids when they
are clean and sober and they only call
me when they are. (Well, there are those
jail calls-to tell me where they wound up.) My kids are really good to me, and vice versa. It took
me awhile to figure out boundaries and
what I would and would not allow, and
what is good for me-I had no clue. Now
I have allowed my oldest to stay here
periodically to dry out when the wife
kicked him out. But this last time-I
felt it was the last time. My home is
not a detox or rehab.
You can definitely have a different rela-
tionship with your son.
Take care of you, and keep working on your
"recovery". You will always have slips-
we all do. But it becomes much easier to
pick yourself back up and brush off.
By the way, your husband sounds like a
gem!
Hugs,