so this may or may not help for the moments when we think the ex's are better, clean, sober, doing things different or being great when we didn't have so much with them...
i opened the paper and in it were pics of weekend events. always like looking at them just to look. wellllllllllllll...there the ex was...smiling that great smile...looking totally happy...totally fine...in his favorite upscale bar of course! but of course he was in his favorite upscale BAR doing what he loves to do and what he cares about. drinking. that's it.(and yes other things on top of drinking but it all starts at that bar--no matter what--it's his place of all places.)
mine isn't doing one thing any different than he has ever done. the problems i addressed are real. he is right back where he will always be until he isn't. no one is going to get anything any different than i did. no one. seeing the pic did not upset me. i stared at it and really just thought "yeah, see--you can not go a day without that place and if you do it's just a day. i knew that. but now i really know it." so i think the paper did me a favor. i wouldn't have had a clue where or what he has been doing. the paper told me=the same exact thing as before.
and then i got back to me!