Thanks for saying that I like your analogy. I suppose my problem is that I am imagining that STBXAH has totally changed is sober and being lovely and loving to gf and doing all the things I wanted him to do with me. I KNOW that this is probably not true but it is how it feels. Plus I am just shocked that he is now dragging his feet over splitting our assets - this time last year he could'nt wait to buy me out or sell the house - now he won't deal with the sale. It is so frustrating - it's like he's just haveing a break from reality - or thats how it feels! Grr!