Florence, I have heard: If you want to k now if an alcoholic's behavior is "real" or not----just tell them "no" about something."
Yes, it is unrealistic to have expected deep change in him---rehab, basically, points them in the direction of recovery---but, real recovery comes from working the program honestly and intensely and it takes big effort for a long time.
You are doing waaay better than you think you are. Stick to your program---it will get better for you.
sincerely, dandylion