Wicked,
Wow, thank you for your reply. I get so caught up in tiny moments when my husband acts appropriately and doubt whether I am doing the right thing. And like the original poster, I second-guess constantly whether I am the one causing any given problem.
I am filing for divorce next week. Because I recognize this crazy drama over little things like a cell phone. And I need to as much distance as I can (or as much as having two toddlers with the man lets me get).
And I read your post and thought, maybe I don't need to worry about him anymore. I am not going to miss something. If he ever truly decides to turn this around, it will be clear. Besides, it may well never happen - and I have to stop holding my breath. It's hard to live without oxygen all the time.