Dearest Florence,
weebles wobble but they don't fall down.
Exactly. It has nothing to do with this phone. It has everything to do with CONTROLLING you!
Florence, this is a process (as you know). Everything I am about to say - you know already.
He is using the phone to push your buttons that he knows so well.
(The song called "Black Magic" just came to me, very old stuff, one of the Rat Pack did it so well. Witchcraft, that wishcraft that you do so well.
)
Anvilhead has it down exactly, he can pick up a phone for
free! (around here anyway). Pay monthly for about fifty bucks for UNLIMITED service. Hell, you could actually be saving him money (and
most importantly save your sanity) by allowing him to act like a man, and buy his own god**** phone!
he was not ready to surrender to the program. I still believe this.
I am going to tell you something from the bottom of my grasping, controlling, manipulative and self-serving alcoholic heart.
He has not surrendered. When he came for that phone, I knew the trip to rehab was like a con going to prison. He learned some new tricks to continue his illness and not taking responsibility for himself.
He is terminally unique. His parents think so too, so that makes it even harder for him to see it. As a recovering alcoholic, I do believe all can be productive human beings, and I pray for those who still suffer.
But Florence, he is not getting it. He is so far away from getting it, that even with a map, a flashlight and two hands he could not find his own butt.
when he does get it, there will be no questions. there will be no controlling. there will be no name calling. his parents will not be calling with excuses and pointing fingers.
When he does get it, it will shine like a light. You will hear humility and gratefulness for being alive.
Until he gets it, he must have as little contact as possible with you.
when he gets it, he will respect your boundaries, and be grateful for them.
I do not think of it as a codie relapse. I think of my codependency is like being in a dark room. One issue at a time, a light comes on and that little roach scurries away.
this is not a relapse, you found another light switch.
When he gets it, he will be able to come into a fully lit room without recoiling.
Ah, this is for me as much for you Florence.
You have come so far, you do not even sound like the same person.
I am amazed at the strength and courage you have shown and continue to show to others here.
Hang in there. I am crying some. A light came on for me too.
Thank you Florence.