Trouble coping
This is my first time really asking for help about this issue.
A little background- I'm an only child, in my 20's, still living at home. When I was 14 we moved to another country, this is when I think my mother started drinking. I was a little depressed about being away from my childhood friends and the rest of my family and I fell into the wrong crowd, I dated a way older guy who pressured me into having sex. I started to feel really depressed, out of control and guilty about having made such bad decisions; I developed an eating disorder and started cutting myself. This when on for about 4 years; my mother's habit got exponentially worse and my dad started compulsively over eating.
Since then, I've recovered but her drinking has gotten worse. She doesn't work, just stays at home getting drunk everyday. I deal with quite a bit of the cooking and cleaning, which I'm perfectly ok with, but I'm angry the reason she doesn't do much is her inebriation.
My dad lives at home, but seems to avoid being around as much as possible. When he is home, he avoids her. He knows she has a problem, but never actually does anything about it.
I've tried talking to her, and she always says that she doesn't really have a problem but will stop soon, just not right now. When she claims there isn't a problem I always end up feeling like I'm completely insane and overreacting, she makes out that her stopping would just be like a favor to appease her crazy daughter... It's like she thinks everyone is blind- she'll be falling over drunk, hardly able to walk, but when you look at her she just smiles sheepishly and acts like nothing's wrong.
Tonight I made dinner, and she was so drunk she vomited on her plate at the table, then some more in the rubbish bin. She even tried to tell me it was because she "found a chewy bit in the steak."
Other than just getting all this out there, I really just need some advice; do you think it's my fault she's doing this? If I hadn't had done so many stupid things through high school may this never would have happened. Is there something I can be doing to fix this? I want to talk to her about it, but I don't know how? How do I cope with this?
Please help!