Another thing: I used to jump to respond to his accusations and whatnot, but now I let things sit for a day, maybe two, before I go back to him. I keep things short. No JADE going on here. He sees the JADE stuff as opportunities for messing with me.
So much of it is crazy making, but I've had a lot of healing from being able to step back and laugh at some of his insanity. And also having some pity for his wife (glad it ain't me!). Some of his explanations and reasons for things are insane, and it turns out he's not very smart and occasionally shows all his cards and it's kind of hilarious.
Like the screenshots of the calendar. We had a dispute once and he was trying to argue that he was actually entitled to a lot more time than was on the calendar (he wasn't). He sent me a screenshot of the calendar, accusing me of making changes and not telling him, and was so righteous and angry about it. What he didn't realize was that the screenshot of his computer screen showed quite clearly that it was him that made those changes.
Of course, when I pointed this out he was furious -- how dare I suggest he is stupid! I got a good laugh out of it.