I experienced the same thing. Alcoholic dad, codie mom. They were sick individuals who had NO tools. So they passed on their lack-of-tool-ness on to us kids.
I had anger and resentment for a long time. I felt abandoned and wanted them to see what they had done and ask forgiveness and give me the love I craved.
It is only through my program that I was able to process my anger, fear, and hurt, and forgive my parents. And realize that were are sick, not bad. I released expectations of them that they will NEVER live up to.
On a good note, my dad is sober in AA now and my mom has worked the steps in AlAnon. We have done a lot of mending/building of our relationships. I am just now really getting to know them.
