A tough day today
Hello all. Having a rough day and just want to vent. I chose here because, well, I'm an atheist. While I appreciate well wishes I don't want anyone's prayers.
My dad passed away a couple years ago this summer. It was hard since we were close, but he'd been in poor health and it wasn't really a surprise. In fact, it was a miracle he hadn't died thirty years ago. So while it was difficult, on some level I was glad to see his physical suffering end. And at least I was there with him at the end, along with the entire family, so it was as good a death as a man could reasonably expect.
Today my mom found out she has cancer. There were no signs before about a month ago. A few days ago she felt sick and was vomiting, and had blood in her urine. She is visiting her sister who's a nurse, and the sister was concerned enough to insist on taking her to the ER.
The docs think it's very early state colon cancer. They're pretty sure it hasn't spread beyond one small spot and feel confident it can be removed with surgery. If so, that will be that. Of course, anytime you go under general anesthetic there's a risk. But she's relatively young (61) and in otherwise good health, so there's reason for optimism.
Still, it's tough on all of us. My brother and sister and I are in our early 40's, and my brother & I have long expected her to outlive us both (all of Mom's siblings are in their 80's and her folks both lived to their late 80's as well). Again, the odds are in her favor but it's a real jolt to even think of losing her so soon!
I have the added "burden", if you will, of being overly fond of wine. I've been sober for almost exactly seven months now. This isn't really a "trigger" for me as I understand that nothing about this situation would be improved by going back to being a drooling, drunken idiot. But it doesn't help, either.
Just wanted to get my thoughts down in writing. It makes me feel a bit better.