Hi Alco
I'm sorry for what bought you here but I'm glad you found us.
I think once we accept the damage alcohol does to us, and we resolve not to drink anymore, thats actually the start of a great new chapter. We start to get our lives back
You'll find a lot of support here. I know you have a lot to think about right now but try to focus on staying sober for now - in my experience, everything else will tend to fall into place behind that.
D