Wow, that is truly impressive.
I'm with RDB. Google AVRT The Crash Course (Rational Recovery). Go over to the secular connections forum and read everything about AVRT. I believe you could really benefit by getting a greater understanding about what is going on in your mind.
Here is a link to a thread our member Freshstart started. I think it gives a great summary of AVRT and our Addictive Voice:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html