Originally Posted by
phoebe2 
. . . . I want him to know I know.
ummm, that would be NOT detaching.
Just saying. It will leave you in the A's turmoil. You can stay there if you wish, but it is generally not a happy place.
Not that you have to detach, it is just that YOU will start getting and feeling a WHOLE LOT better once you do.
The classic example I hear in Alanon --
A is drunk and passed out on the floor.
Detaching is to NOT drag them into the bed.
Detaching with Love is to place a blanket over them while they sleep on the floor.