Originally Posted by
MagRich 
I won't drink today or tonight, but I [how about IT] really want[s] to, just to make everything go away for a bit.
I find myself with very high anxiety and worry today. I am worried about what my future holds if I don't stop drinking. I've not really lost anything but respect and self esteem due to my drinking. I do know that I have a lot to lose. I have two great kids, great family, beautiful home, nice vehicles, awesome job. I am making my life a mess.
I just wanted to put this out there. I appreciate your words. I just feel so fragile right now.
Since you have a predilection for AVRT, you can use this experience as an opportunity to quit for good NOW.
I recall how something similar led me to abstain forever.
And I can imagine how, if you put your mind to it, you will discover by using AVRT, you can quite quickly convert that feeling of fragility into very real hope and strength.