Trying Again
I've been here before, but some how I'm here again. Today I have been a little over a month sober, and this is the first time in 8 years that I have been free from any substance. I'm so proud of myself, and right now I cannot fathom the idea of every taken one more drink. Before when I thought of sobriety I would go a few days and convince myself I could handle just a beer or two. I would wake up the next morning with holes in my walls, doors cracked, my husband having a black eye, and not remember where the **** I was or how it all started. I never once learned my lesson, I have horrible, disgusting things to people that I love that I wonder how that person ever came to be. That person was me. I did not recognize my face in the mirror. I was ****. Lower than **** admittadly. Here I am though, 33 days sober and I'm working the steps, have a sponser if times get rough, and I'm even volunteering at my AA meetings. I'm going to beat this wicked disease, it will take time, and maybe a relapse but I am going to try my damndest to make sure that **** never happens. I stumbled upon a Macklemore song called "Starting Over". The last part of the song has a great quote: IF I CAN BE AN EXAMPLE OF GETTING SOBER, THEN I CAN BE AN EXAMPLE OF STARTING OVER. We can all make our sobriety last, I honestly believe that.