Hi and welcome, mmw11969. I'm so sorry for what brings you here, but am glad you're reaching out for support.
You state this a couple times in a single post:
Originally Posted by
mmw11969 
I already know he probably thinks it's my fault.
I worried quite a bit about being blamed by AXH for the repercussions related to his abusive behavior (supervised visits with our DS being the main one). Even while I would say and understand that AXH's behavior wasn't my fault, that worry was there. Please know that you are in no way to blame for his behavior. He's the one who decided to slam you into the wall. Your telling him to get his stuff and leave was not an invitation to hurt you. His drinking most certainly was not a reason it occurred. People argue and one can be told to get out, without either party resorting to physical violence - even if there is alcohol involved. The option to walk away or out the door (to cool off or move out...) is always there.
Did AXH blame me for the consequences? Yes. Did he blame me for the what "made" him do it? Yes. It was so much easier than accepting that blame himself. Still, his justifications don't make it true: nothing I did could "make" him do it.
Sending you hugs and wishing you continued strength.