You're 100% right and it took me a long time to learn that, which is why I had to explain my own situation as well. I've gone through a lot of different stages over the past few years where I thought I was handling my problems but they seemed to come back even worse. And this one thread is covering so many different things at once, and there's some I haven't even mentioned yet.
Once this immediate situation is dealt with today, I'm focusing on an appointment with my primary care doctor the day after tomorrow and I already have the name of a therapist who I promised myself I will call this week. I was still in a state of confusion and very impatient with my doctor right after the panic attack, but I'm going back with an open mind this time.
I've heard the term co-dependent many times but never really understood it until now. I can see how it relates to my mother and stepfather which made me who I am, and my current situation. The main thing is I want to continue overcoming my social anxiety with my love of playing music which usually happens in a bar. And I know that some of the women I've been talking to (for the first time in almost 10 years) will only bring me more temptation with alcohol and drugs. These problems are all connected so it's impossible to address my alcohol consumption with getting into the other stuff. I'll continue to post on some of the other forums where I can get more into specifics.
I really appreciate the feedback I got here.