I'm also one of those who doesn't buy the "what if I had cancer" stuff. It's not about having the disease, it's about the choices you make in dealing with it. If you're abusive, mean, not reliable, etc etc....then there is no excuse.
He's only sober 10 days after detox. So he is likely still in a fog. He is not yet working the steps, so he is still in victim mode. He has been through rehab before? You are most certainly NOT missing out on a good thing, he has a loooong way to go before he's good for anyone else.
Don't let him manipulate you. The A is a Master at doing that to us. Leave him to his path, and work on yours. Get involved in AlAnon if you're not already. This guy is not good for you right now.