Welcome to SR DMB. I'm sorry you're dealing with all this, but glad you came here to talk about it.
You sound like a wonderful friend, and I hope those who've been through a similar situation will have some advice. I watched the destruction of my husband years ago, so I sympathize. (I didn't realize then that I was an enabler.) I've also had my own battle with alcoholism - so I see this thing from both sides - as you do. An alcoholic has to be ready and willing to make the change, and that's what makes this so difficult.
I hope you'll keep posting and let us know how it's going. Glad you are here. Please check out the Friends and Family Forum too.