Reedling, I think all of us, no matter how far along in recovery, will always have those brain glitches. You're doing very well with your own recovery in that you can identify that it IS a brain glitch, that it is not 'reality' (whatever 'reality' is) and that it shall pass.
You're doing very well in naming feelings, rather than having a knee-jerk response too. Do you share your feelings with your husband when it happens? Have you shared with him that you're not responding to him, but to old tapes running through your head - old fears, old instincts for survival?
My husband found it very helpful when I would say "I'm sorry I snapped at you, it wasn't you, it was an old movie running through my head that I was responding to." Often I follow that with an explanation of what the trigger was that made me stomp on him, and how it served me well when I needed it, and how, as a survival instinct, I struggle with overcoming some of those protective mechanisms. I apologize for my current behavior, explain where it came from, but I also tell him that I can't promise it won't happen again - only that I'll do my best to be mindful and try not to take it out on him. My apologies are always genuine as I do feel genuinely badly about my behavior.
By telling him not only what I'm feeling, but WHY I'm feeling that way, not only does it help him to understand me better, but it also reinforces in my own psyche that not all situations are threats. I've found it helpful in keeping me mindful.
Since I can now feel the difference between lashing out from the past versus something 'real' happening in the right now, I can usually apologize within seconds of having slipped.
With two of you, it may be more difficult, or it may be easier. I would encourage you to ask yourself "what old tape/movie am I reliving in my head that made me respond this way?" Then ask yourself if the response you had was in proportion to what was really going on around you. With those two answers, the next step is to verbalize it. Not just think, but say it out loud. Lay yourself open to scrutiny - not by your husband, but by yourself. It will help him to hear you work through it (perhaps in more ways than one, since he's also an ACOA) and it will help you to identify what old tapes there are.
Wishing you peace.
Gin