LeLe, read ' diary of an alcoholic Housewife' you may not agree with all but I feel you may find resonances. You can be who you want to be, and if you are seeking sobriety, are there other things you want to try, going back to school, looking for a new job? Changing other aspects of your life will make the stoping drinking seem less of a deal to those around you.
I too loved drinking, until loathing myself for my addiction became a bigger thing.
AVRT can be accessed from links here, and is well worth a look as a tool towards sobriety.
Good luck