Sobreia

Thank you again Troae, it really moves me to get such kind support on here. I find it hard to tell family and friends that I want to quit permanently. When I say I am "staying away from alcohol", the reaction is often that people try to downplay my problem (partly because they don't know the full extent, but I think it also makes them feel uncomfortable) and I am of course easily persuaded to downplay it too. I suppress memories of all the shameful embarrassing things I've done and said when drunk, and how I've jeopardised my physical/mental health and life, because remembering them creates so much anxiety. Therefore it is hard to admit the extent of my problem even to myself - and as long as I don't do this I can't admit it to others and I can't, with honesty and resolve, say "I want to quit drinking permanently", and as long as I don't I won't be able to stay sober... It is a vicious circle... Sorry for the long erratic reply, my mind is all over the place today. Was still drunk when I woke up this morning.