Originally Posted by bigsombrero

I flunked out three times. Do you want to have a contest as to who had crappier grades? Seriously man, turn that frown upside down. Maybe you're a little down right now but you need to stop beating yourself up. All that matters is who you are now, and what you do today. Do you want to go back to school? Something tells me this isn't about education. You're just raking yourself over the coals. Why are you punishing yourself and being so hard on yourself?

What are your best qualities? What makes you laugh? What kind of things do you enjoy doing sober? How are you going to make your life brighter today? What will make you smile tomorrow when you wake up? Stop living in the past, friend! Last time I checked there's no such thing as a time machine (I just checked the internet and it's confirmed - no time machine). Maybe you can start with some small steps, we all did. It took me about two weeks after I got home from treatment before I dared go outside. Took me two more weeks before I dared go out farther than my neighborhood cafe down the block. Get out there and live, you'll see that these dark thoughts will gradually become less frequent. Good luck - and give yourself a break!