Hey gang! It's 100 days for me here, woohoo! Feels great, nice round even triple digit number!!
I can relate to a lot that was said in the past couple of posts. I have been sleeping a lot better, more soundly, just more solid sleep. It's a great feeling to wake up rested and clear-headed.
Reeny, I feel I am confronting a lot of other things as well - almost overwhelmingly so. I feel like such a raw nerve all the time. I feel so full of self-doubt, poor self-esteem, fear, insecurity... it's like I just never realized i was such a messed up person before. Because I drank those feelings away? Not sure, but they are hear now, front and center, and it's very scary and exhausting. At the same time, i am very aware how much worse drinking would make things, so even when I think of it, it's more of an abstract thought, not like a real temptation that I have to fight off. I know it's a lifelong battle, sometimes it's almost worrisome how easy it is to resist right now. Still struggling a bit with the smoking - none for 3 days, then broke down, now back to day 2 again. It adds so much tension to my relationship with my husband, I wish it were easier to give up than it is. Sometimes i worry that I'll never be happy. Everything just feels like so much work.
Hang in there everyone.
-Alison