Jane,
Do you have a support group, such as Al-Anon or an abuse group? It can help you to sort things out, and have positive input. When all we get is negative input, and we isolate ourself, we do feel crazy. You need all the support you can get right now. Please do that for yourself.
To find a meeting in your area,
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/english.html and select "How to locate a meeting." Hugs, Magic