Originally Posted by
Mracoa 
As an ACOA I've always only put into the box when I've expected to get something of equal or better value out. Putting things into the box without expecting anything in return was just not in me. The thought never occurred to me that I should. The parental relationship with an alcoholic teaches disappointment. You don't do nice just to do nice. you do nice to get what you need or want. It's all about the manipulation. There is lots of manipulation in an alcoholic home. And I brought those traits into adulthood.
I really appreciate your insight, coming from the other side Mracoa. I believe this statement really describes my husband, it's like he's never really trusted anyone completely, not even me, to not turn around and hurt him. He manages to be my best friend and at the same time I don't really know what he's thinking if that makes sense?