Yeah alcohol is a wicked mistress. Always there for you. Those first couple of months were very tough and at 8 months I can still struggle some days. You are doing a good thing by discussing it. Kuddo's for that.
I still over think so much stuff. Like Carl said you think about drinking and not drinking and if you are living right, blah blah blah. I try to get down to the basics. I know I can't drink. It is just a fact. No debate. No thinking.
It will get better Dib so hang in there.