DreamsofSerenity - Thanks so much for your post, and I know exactly what you mean when you say they seem to know exactly what to say to hurt you the most. I've tried so hard to console her after he's put her down but she doesn't take in anything I say, only what HE says. She's convinced that everything is her fault and so takes the blame for all of his actions. It's hard to see her like that, she's such a lovely person and was always an amazing mum to us. It effects her physical health too, she has recently got a heart murmur and her blood pressure is through the roof. It must have been so hard for you too move on from it all, Thanks again for the post it helps so much to hear from someone in a very similar situation.