Delusion is the right word. In my brain, the right mix of chemicals and alcohol (always a constant) provide the illusion that I had discovered the deeper complexity and beauty in music no matter what I was listening to. However, to get to that state of mind also means I have to pay the piper. I'm only a middle aged human and my brain wasn't set up for those big floods of serotonin and toxic substances. The next day I would feel *so* horrible that nothing seemed beautiful or magical except for the fact that my heart was still beating. I'm trying to spend a little bit of every day listening to, and playing (in my own feeble amateurish way), some music. I still think it's one of the true gifts we have. I just have remember that I'm just a human and hearing it "as it is" is a gift.