Originally Posted by
jme1976 
I have pushed everything to the side to take care of my kids. Is it too much for him to help me and take care of me? I am also angry becuase his parents say I need to be supportive of him. But what about me. I have had to deal with this for years. Where is my support.
Something my SO told me last week. I was having a bad day inside of a bad week, feeling really low about myself. And somehow we got on the conversation...and I told him I wasn't feeling pretty or good about myself at all and that he wasn't helping. He told me "You need to take care of yourself. I'm struggeling right now, trying to learn how to take care of me. I can't be responsible for you too".
It was awful to hear, and it's still awful to think about - but it was 100% true and appropriate. It's not fair to rely on him, he has his hands full. And in your case, you KNOW you can't rely on him because he's irresponsible and still stuck in the grip of the drinks - his mind is full of all of his regrets, fears, mistakes, faults, etc... He's in a vicious circle, and nobody can say whether or not he will ever learn how to come out of it.
But you are right, what about us. We need support too, I sure as hell did. No way I can do any of this on my own, I've tried for so long just like so many others, including yourself, have. And that's why I came here. I turned to a bunch of perfect strangers, because I needed somebody to wrap their arms around me and tell me it would all be ok in the end....or something like that. More than anything, I just needed to get it all out from inside of me.
He can't be your support. How can he be expected to support you when he can't even do the same for himself? His parents obviously aren't stepping up either. So, INSTEAD of just being upset that nobody is with you on your side of the court - GO FIND SOMEBODY AND RECRUIT THEM TO YOUR TEAM! Your first post was the first step, cuz now you have us. But you could always use more.
Good luck at the lawyers.
