Originally Posted by
stiney 
Thank you so much guys. I was thinking the other day: Just like they tell us that we don't understand what they go through, they don't understand what we go through either. It goes both ways.
You hit the nail on the head there - they genuinely do not know, because they rationalize everything. I know - I have been on both ends of the spectrum. For at least thirteen years I was a high-functioning alcoholic - I would make it to work, school, take care of my kids, etc., but then 2-3 nights I week I would binge to the point that my (now ex) husband thought I would die.
I told myself that I was only hurting myself. Now I know that is sooooo wrong.
I am now on the other end, with a high-functioning ABF. He has no idea what it is like to worry about him not locking doors, having to hide keys, worrying about how and when he will get home, and dear God, hopefully he doesn't try to cook and set something on fire!!!
Anyway, welcome to SR. You will find lots of support here. And I agree with the others - Al-Anon (and this board) are true life savers.