I am so sorry that you're going through this, I can hear the pain through your words. Yes, you deserve help and some care for you. But No, it will not come from your AH. He is addicted, and their first love is always the substance. His parents may have enabled, and are unable to see the truth of the situation. It doesn't matter what they think, you decide what is best for you and those kids.
This is a progressive disease. The fact that he can roll a vehicle with his own children inside should have stopped him from abusing again. But it didn't. That alone speaks volumes. Stiney is right....read the posts on here from children of alcoholics. There is alot of pain and anger from dealing with A parents. Pulling your kids out of school or changing their routine is a small price to pay in the short term for their long term health.
Your support is on this site, and in the rooms of AlAnon. Many AlAnon meetings have child care available during the meetings. You will find tremendous support, even serenity, in those meetings. Good luck with your attorney meeting. (((hugs)))