Hi there,
Glad you have joined us. LOL, that cracked me up about "making you go to meetings for wives"--so clueless! Al-Anon saved my sanity when I was in two alcoholic marriages. I am now four and a half years sober, myself (my alcoholism came about a little later in life).
I cannot suggest strongly enough that you get yourself to a meeting. They are warm and welcoming. I found it a HUGE relief to talk face-to-face with others who understood EXACTLY what I was going through.
There isn't anything you can do to make him get sober. He has to want it enough to do exactly what is suggested to him. Don't worry about his program--you can have one of your own. Al-Anon is where you can find it.
You don't have to say a thing at the meeting if you don't want to. Lots of people find themselves just crying at their first meeting (or the first few!). It's very accepting and can change your life.
Hugs,