He may need an ultimatum. I wish I had been given one before my ex left, I have a drinking problem but I don't have kids or anything so she sort of just let it go, now when we talk (we are on good terms) she says she realizes how bad my drinking has become and wishes she had said something. I can't be sure, but if she had given me the choice of her or the alcohol, I like to think it would have helped me to quit. Each person and each relationship is different, that's just my two cents on the matter. Good luck with everything.