just need advice
I don't even know where to start....
My husband has always been a drinker. He has a pattern of getting really bad..me yelling and threatening..stops for 6 months and then the cycle repeats.
Last June he took two of my four children off roading and flipped the car over while drunk. He did go into therapy, lost his liscense for 3 month etc. Well 4 weeks ago I started to see the signs again. I asked him everytime and even begged his parents to help me. Once I even made him pull over the car because he was so f-ed up I would not allow him to drive our children. I have had to cancel many activities, and events for my kids because I had that gut feeling I could not leave him with our kids alone. I have 4 kids 7,3,3,2. I quit my job as a teacher to stay home and take care of our kids. The other night I found empty bottles of vodka, pot, cigerattes. I left everything on the table (instead of confronting him infront of the kids) he did start going to AA meetings but I just feel like I am done. I need to put my kids first. However I feel stuck. I do not have a job, I can not leave beacuse of the 4 kids. I asked him to leave and he did for overnight. He has been coming over after work to see the kids and that is fine with me (as long as he is not on something).
How do you know when to leave and seek divorce. I have had so many other things happen lately I am not sure if it is him or me. (my dad died suddenly in Oct, I am from Newtown CT and yes I know everyone, I am traing for a marathon and now my oldest is stressed out about me running because of the boston stuff) I am just so mad right now I don't know what to do. He wants to come back and "work it out" but I can not trust him, or trust him with the kids. I just know this is going to happen again in 6 months.